I shouldn't even post this thing xD I'm too tired to edit it. And Bwah, I should wait, but I did say one ficcie a day for a week xD Let's just pretend it's still Friday. <.<

And to get over the drama, I present to you...Femme!Sai 8D



Author's note:....this is entirely industrialgirl1s fault! YOU HEAR THAT?! XD
The lovely comment that spawned it all can be read Here Because of that, this abomination is dedicated to you my dear ♥
It's totally on crack and I doubt it's coherent in any way but... xD Yeah. Enjoy~

Warnings: gender-bending, mentions of yuri, offensive words (duh, it's Sai), crack, character abuse, and likely OOCness <.<
Pairings: onesided Ino/Sai, implied SasuNaru, onesided Saku/Sasu (because she'd have to knock him out <.<), Femme!Sai/Naru, sort of xD
Words: 2432 @_@
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I make no profit. But I am not the only one abusing characters! >_>

yeah...sorry about this xD
****

Girl's night

When Sai awoke that morning, he couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong - or at least a bit off.
He didn’t feel like himself somehow. His body felt…odd.
The teen yawned and stretched, scrambling out of bed, forcing himself to wake up properly.
He dragged himself across the floor, yawning a second time, making for the fridge, where he took out a bottle of ice water, drinking a large gulp from it.
He felt refreshed afterwards.

On his way to the bathroom he caught a glimpse of himself in the hallway mirror. He’d put it up there as it was the only wall space that was big enough.
He stopped, staring confusedly at himself.
He blinked. His hair was in the way.
His hair…didn’t it look suspiciously longer than usual?
And his lips…were fuller…his lashes longer.
Sai let his eyes wander over his reflection. Two suspicious looking bumps were prominent underneath his t-shirt. Nervously he touched his own hand to his chest, squeezing one of them curiously. It felt soft.
He blinked again.
He had…breasts?
Come to think of it…his body seemed more petite. His eyes widened.
He swallowed, grabbing the waistband of his boxers, tugging at it, lowering his gaze to look inside of the garment.
He gasped.
“J-Just like Naruto….” he mumbled, “No penis…?”

Come to think of it, he thought, surveying his own shocked face in the mirror, hadn’t there been something odd about Sakura last night when she had called him to Tsunade’s office and had him try out that potion on the Hokage‘s orders?
She had said he’d feel the difference if it worked but…
He bit his lip, uncertain of what to do.

Finally, Sai decided to get dressed and go see Naruto.
His teammate was used to strange situations and would probably be able to help him out. At least Sai hoped so.

Putting on his clothes, Sai found that they didn’t fit him anymore; or rather, they were too big. He had to dig for a belt in his dresser drawer to keep his pants up, and his top felt unnervingly loose over his newly developed….breasts.
He felt strangely exposed as he locked his apartment and walked down the street.
People looked at him left and right, and he didn’t feel comfortable about it at all.
Ok, so people always stared at him, but not like they were doing now.
He wasn’t a skimpily dressed, penis-obsessed male anymore, he was a skimpily dressed penis-obsessed male in a female’s body, and he had no idea why.

Trying to cover himself up as he went along, he decided to take a shortcut; jumping across the roofs to get to Naruto’s place as quickly as possible.
Vaguely he noticed that things were more bouncy than before.
“How odd…” he thought to himself, landing on the roof next to Naruto’s.

The blonde dragged himself out of bed when the persistent knock on his door refused to die down.
“Hold on!” he growled, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top he found on a chair in the kitchen, “I’m coming!”

When he opened the door, he found himself to be looking at a dark haired girl.
She looked strangely familiar, but he couldn’t remember where he’d seen her before.
Her hair was short and dark, her eyes the same. She was about his height, with a nice body and pretty normal-looking breasts. Not that Naruto was an expert on boobs, not having had much close contact with girls in his sixteen years of living.

“Uh…Hi?” he said, confused, looking the girl up and down, “Can I…help you?”
The girl nodded, brushing past him, entering the apartment, Naruto gawking at her as she did.
“Excuse me, who the heck-” Naruto noticed the outfit the girl was wearing.
“I need your help,” her voice wasn’t silky and soft, it was darker than expected.
Naruto blinked, his mouth dropping open.
“S-Sai?”
The ‘girl’ smiled, “Good morning Naruto-kun.”
“Gah!” Naruto exclaimed, “What the heck happened to you!?”
“That’s what I’d like to know,” Sai sighed, sliding down on a chair, “I just woke up like this.”
“And you came to see me because…?”
“You always get mixed up in weird stuff, I thought you’d be able to help. Friends help each other out, right?”
Naruto stared at him, “Yeah…but it’s not every day that your friends turn into girls for no reason. Do you know why?”

Naruto nodded and listened to Sai’s story about the night before, and the potion that Sakura had asked him to taste for Tsunade.
A grin spread across his face.
“Dude, you’ve been had,” he laughed.
“What?” Sai blinked.
“You don’t think Sakura is some sweet innocent girl do you? It was a prank obviously.”
“But why would she-”
Naruto shrugged, “You’re gonna have to ask her about that.”
Sai frowned.
Naruto laughed harder, “By the way, nice rack.”
Sai rolled his eyes.
“Why thank you,” he grumbled, “But what am I supposed to do about it?”
“You’re gonna have to make her turn you back, and I know just how!” Naruto said slyly, grabbing Sai’s hand, dragging him towards the door.
“Where are we going?” the raven asked nervously.
“Out shopping,” Naruto announced, “You need to look the part.”

***

Sai nervously knocked on Sakura’s door. He felt sort of misplaced, with a big pink bag hanging over his shoulder, a pillow under his arm, and of course a girl’s body.
But Naruto had been convinced that this would be the way to go.

It was almost seven p.m and about five minutes since Naruto had pushed him into Sakura’s yard and disappeared.

The door opened, Sakura peeking her head outside.
“Oh hi…Sai?!” she stifled a giggle.
Sai thought he spotted an evil twinkle in her eye.
“Sai’s here?!” a voice came from inside, Ino scrambling out into the hallway, “Move it forehead-girl!”
She stopped short, staring and blinking.
“Sai?”
“I hear you guys were having a sleepover,” Sai said, smiling as coyly as he could, “I thought I’d join you.”
“Never,” Sakura said, looking as if she was ready to slam the door in his face, “This is a girl’s only sleep over.”
“I am a girl,” Sai said, gesturing to his new body, as if he was completely used to it, “Haven’t you noticed?”
“Oh come on,” Ino pushed Sakura away, “Let him…her…Sai come in.”

Smiling at her, Sai stepped inside, stepping out of his shoes, following Ino up to Sakura’s room, Sakura growling audibly as she followed them.
Hinata was sitting on the bed, dressed in pink silk pajamas when they came in, she glanced up, saw Sai and stared at Sakura.
“You didn’t.”
Sakura shrugged, nearly knocking Sai over as she passed him, plopping down on the bed next to Hinata.

“So, why did you come over?” Ino asked, apparently unaffected by the boy’s female appearance.
Sai shrugged, dropping down his bag on the floor.
“I thought I’d try to experience some female bonding while I had the chance,” he turned to Sakura, “Where’s the bathroom? I’d like to change into my pajamas.”
Sighing, Sakura pointed to the door across the hall.

He left the room, locking himself into the bathroom.
As he undressed he caught a brief glance of his new body in the mirror and had to force himself to look away.
It wasn’t that he had any feelings in particular towards his new appearance, it was just… weird.
Reaching into his bag, he pulled out the nightie Naruto had picked out for him.

The blonde had gotten sullen when Sai had announced that he had no money, and insisted that he’d read in a book it was normal to treat a lady when you took her shopping.
“You’re not a lady!” Naruto had exclaimed.
“I look like one,” Sai had defended, “You can touch my boobs?”
“Why would I-” Naruto stopped himself, staring at the other as Sai grabbed his hand, pressing it to his chest in the middle of the store.
“Sai!” he hissed, “What the hell are you doing?!”
“What? I thought boys were crazy about touching boobs?” Sai asked innocently.
Naruto had jerked his hand away and scowled at Sai as he handed him the money and stomped out of the store to wait for him outside.

He surveyed himself in the mirror one last time, running his hands down his body, noticing for the twentieth time that day how soft it felt. The purple negligee reached him to his mid-thighs and showed off his new figure fairly well.
He smirked.
This was gonna be fun.
Brushing dark locks out of his eyes, he unlocked the door and made his way back into Sakura’s room, his hips swaying as he did.

Sakura’s mouth dropped open.
Ino stared at him.
Hinata averted her eyes, blushing.

“What? Too revealing? Naruto picked it out so….” Sai drawled, pursing his lips.
He skipped over to the bed, clapping his hands “This is so much fun already! What does one do at girl nights?”
Sakura glared at him. Hinata said nothing.
Ino however, joined them on the bed, smiling at him; “We do quizzes, watch movies, eat lots of unhealthy food and feel guilty about it afterwards, and then we do each other’s hair and nails and stuff.”
“Really?” Sai processed the information, “Do mine then!”

Even Hinata giggled a little at the enthusiasm in his voice as he turned his back to Ino, allowing her to start putting hairclips in his ebony tousles.
“Sakura-chan,” Sai smirked, poking her with his toe, “Will you paint my toenails for me?”
Sakura grumbled.

Sai laughed softly, earning himself a tug at his hair from Ino, annoyed that he moved.
He had no idea why the girl had turned him into a transvestite, but clearly this was not what she’d had in mind. He watched her amusedly as the pink haired girl picked up two bottles of nail polish; “Clear or pink?”
“Pink,” he said, wriggling his toes, stretching them towards her.

While Ino did his hair, and Sakura painted his nails, Hinata picked up a glossy magazine, and quizzed him on his ‘ideal boyfriend’.
He laughed out loud at one of the questions, making Sakura spill nail polish on the comforter.
“Watch it,” she sighed. But she was smiling, Sai saw it.
“Okay,” Hinata read, “What is your favorite part of a guy’s body?”
“Penis!”
Ino burst out laughing, and Sakura tore the magazine from Hinata’s hand, whacking Sai over the head with it while the other girl blushed crimson and did her best not to look at Sai.
“T-that wasn’t an option!” she stuttered.
“Ignore that tranny,” Sakura glared at Sai.
The raven stuck his tongue out at her, grabbing a pillow, hitting her playfully over the head.
“Sai!”
“What?” he did it again, hard enough to knock her off the bed, “I thought we were supposed to be having pillow fights?”
“Oh really?” Sakura glared.
Sai nodded, “According to all the sources Naruto showed me, we are supposed to have a pillow fight in our underwear and then do dirty things to each other!”
Ino snorted, supporting Hinata who looked like she was about to faint.
“That…bastard!” Sakura hissed, grabbing the pillow from Sai, hitting him in the stomach.

He found that the blow felt harder now that his body was different.
“Odd,” he thought.

“Don’t space out!” Sakura shrilled, hitting him a second time, “Why did Naruto say these things?!”
“Because,” Sai jerked the pillow away from her, tossing it aside as he leaned forward, making sure to show off his cleavage, “He said that unless I came here and annoyed the hell out of you, you’d never tell me why you did this to me, or give me the antidote.”
Her eyes turned dark for a second as she glared up at him, before she finally stood, placing her hands on her hips.
“Okay,” she said, “If you get the antidote, will you leave us alone?”
“Of course,” Sai smiled sweetly, tilting his head, making his little braids dance.
“Fine,” she stomped out of the room.

Sai leaned back on the bed.
“Looks like I’ll be going soon,” he said, sighing, “And we didn’t even get around to the waxing and facials and comparing of boobs…”
“The what?!”
“But it wouldn’t be any point to it,” he shrugged, glancing over at Hinata, “You own all of us…”
Hinata turned crimson and grabbed a pillow to hide behind.

“Here,” Sakura tossed Sai a bottle, “Now leave.”
He took it, looking at the deep blue serum inside.
“And?”
“And?” she repeated.
“Why did you decide to make it look like I got stuck in the sexy no jutsu?”
“Because,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, “I needed a guinea pig. And to pay you back for calling Sasuke a gutless little homo..”
“Oh,” Sai smiled, getting up, beginning to pack up his things and put on his coat, “But…Sasuke is a homo!”
Sakura grabbed him by the collar, “Get out.”
Sai held up his hands in defense.
“All right already! Jeez, I didn’t think there was so much violence at sleepovers…”
Sakura pushed him away hard enough to make him stumble across the room.
He laughed, unscrewing the bottle cap.
“This’ll turn me back, right?”
“If you drink the whole thing you should be normal by the time you’re home,” she replied, “Whatever normal means to you anyway.”
“Thank you,” he smiled, lifting the bottle to his lips, drinking in large, very un-feminine gulps.
Sakura frowned.

Putting the empty bottle down on her desk, Sai smiled at Sakura and the other two, “I had fun with you guys tonight! Girly bonding is fun too! Even though we didn’t get to the-”
“OUT!”
Flashing Sakura a grin, he took his leave, feeling like he’d accomplished more than he’d expected, and learned even more about girls.
They were strange, he concluded.

***

“It went well?” Naruto asked, glancing at Sai as he came through the door, looking more like his usual self, with the exception of hairclips and braids.
“Yeah, she wanted revenge for the Sasuke thing.”
“Oh,” Naruto said, surprisingly short.
Then he choked on the ramen he’d been eating, gawking at Sai as the other removed his coat.
“S-sai!” he coughed, “I’m glad you’re back to normal…but could you please not wear a negligee in my room?!”
“Of course,” Sai smiled, making his way towards the bathroom, bag in hand.

Ten seconds later, Naruto mentally face-palmed when an elated “PENIS!” sounded from the bathroom.

****

*is shot multiple times*
...I had too much fun with this xD

I know you don't like Hinata dear, but I needed a third girl ^^;;


Ah, 27.02.09 - The day the Naruto fandom exploded again